As the dust settles on the US Presidential election, white people have come out as ‘jubilant’ that they’ve finally been given a chance to “have a go” at solving the problems of today.
Speaking to us outside Congress (an institution that is merely 80% white and male), one Republican explained his support for Trump. “I really think it’s time that white people had a turn to try to sort things out, and that’s why I voted for him. I just feel that, once in a while, someone with white people’s concerns should be in a position of power. You know, to mix up the perspectives being bandied about the political body.”
Citing the lack of influence white people have had over international and domestic affairs, the re-elected senator noted how the appointment of an old, white conservative could really provide some fresh ideas in dealing with the problems of the 21st century.
“An old, white conservative could really provide some fresh ideas”
“I mean, look at the Middle East. It’s chaos over there, but no one’s thought to ask what solutions us white folks could come up with. Like, why not let us have a rustle around, I’m sure the United Nations wouldn’t mind.”
He went on to speak about how the current open trade system had failed blue-collar America, and that perhaps some sort of closed trade route between England, Africa and the US would work.
“There’s already a port a Sierra Leone as I recall; could make a neat little trade shape. A triangle, if you will.”
At press time, the Senator was reportedly seen forwarding a motion to replace Obama’s Race to the Top education program with a more inclusive one, The Trump Youth.
(note: this is a work of satire).